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In one of the specially organised multi-cultural gatherings in the Bureau, attended by a good number of people
with different backgrounds from across U.K. and some parts of the world, one lady asked Mrs Verma why so many persons
turn up to her organisation for suitable matches. The reply was prompt when Mrs Verma said, "Our advertisement
is very extensive indeed within U.K., and in some parts of the world, and since we have a very large number of
members, with varied qualifications and status, the search and selection of right partners become easy."
Through a good agency like 'Laj' with long professional experience in the matrimonial field, introductions are
sent promptly, in U.K. and abroad, giving the 'two' the opportunity to discuss things over to find out if they
can be best suited for the life-long union. This can be done by phone, letters, email, or by meeting straight away,
with or without the involvement of the elders. Photos can be exchanged with each others' understanding on returnable
basis, and if views and ideas resemble, further contacts become automatic as the two souls become attracted towards
each other. Once they have found similarities, it is best advised that they contact each other a few more times
to be 'very' sure that there exist most things in common. On the other hand, if personalities and ways of thinking
conflict, the matter ends there. Further introductions follow, the aim being to find that special person who fits
in perfectly as soon as possible. In most instances, initial introductions are successful, whereby two unknown
souls are united to be wife and husband for a bright future full of happiness. And where perfection prevails, such
marriages are very successful as the 'two' have found much in common and come to know each other with future plans
already in front before starting living together.
Whereas in arranged marriages in Asian society, sometimes quite successful though, when a partner is found by the
elders through their own limited contacts, suitability and compatibility may be lacking. In such situations, parents
of two families meet, satisfy themselves, arrange a meeting for the boy and girl to see and speak with each other,
and then preparations for the marriage start. After such a marriage, difficulties may arise because of the possibility
of differences in personalities of the 'two unknown souls' united as wife and husband without giving them enough
time to know each other. When not much in common, though teamed up hurriedly as wife and husband through an arranged
marriage, only two options are left: either live with controversies and arguments that will surround the rest of
life, or live together as long as possible and then think of a divorce when things have gone too far and intolerable
to carry on any further. But one has to remember that a divorce is the most terrifying thing to face, though so
easy to think of in the beginning.
Widow, widower, divorced and separated persons also join 'Laj' in a considerable number. A very special care is
given to such persons in the selection of the right partners. Since they already had a very rough time, every effort
is made to help them find perfect partners to start a new and happy life afresh.
This remains as true today as it was when primitive ancestors entered into the first formal pact to guarantee companionship
for each other and security and a home for their children. Marriage is primarily a survival mechanism for mankind
in that it allows for the continuity of the race. Sushil, the managing partner, believes that respect for each
other is a key ingredient to a successful marriage. Nothing can give greater strength to marriage ties than mutual
devotion and co-operation to the end. Marriage is a life-long union, the selection of the partner should not be
rushed. Marriage is sharing of everything, someone to be close to, to confide in, to reveal oneself, without fear,
to be trustworthy in dealings and secrets of life. "Love between husband and wife, as Sushil explains, "Is
sharing the joys and sorrows, accomplishments and failures, and to attain the common goals and reach them together."
One should soberly consider the commitments made in marriage and keep to them. There is true beauty in a united
family. Wife and husband must be one flesh. For the man there was to be no other woman, and for the woman, no other man.
While a wife has need for tenderness, affection and security from her husband, she should be a full partner, have
deep respect for him, complement him in establishing a home and it calls for demonstrating talents as a cook, decorator,
mother, teacher and much more. A husband should be a good provider for his family. It is his responsibility to
provide the material necessities of life for the family, though, these days, wife is also a good earner. Of everything
in store, it should be shared between a husband and wife, the words used should be 'we' and 'our' and not 'I' or
'you' or 'mine' and 'your'.
'Laj' runs full time Advisory and Welfare services which are freely accessible by all. Whether one is our member
or not, one may contact us, without obligation, and discuss one's matrimonial and other family situations. No matter
how simple or complicated the problems may be, we provide help and advice, which may reduce the burden or even
completely solve the problems. One should not keep a complicated issue confined to oneself; instead, consult the
professionals. Full confidentiality is guaranteed.
Laj Marriage Bureau International wish all a Happy Married Life, no matter who and where they are.
Managing Partners: Mr Sushil K Verma and Mrs Sudesh Verma
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